We use ScaleOut Server in our webfarm with two servers. Sometimes ScaleOut lost the connection to one server and can not connect after this, so we have to restart Scaleout on one server. We like to get an email when this occurs. Is this possible?
Assuming you're running on Windows, I'd suggest using the service's performance counters to alert you about any changes in the farm's membership. So, in Windows Performance Monitor (or whatever monitoring system you use, like Nagios, etc.), you can create a user-defined Data Collector Set and, under the "ScaleOut StateServer Service" performance counter category, monitor the "Number of Joined Hosts" counter and have it trigger an alert action if a network problem causes the number of hosts to drop below your expected threshold.